Self Help Tips

And What to Do About It!
Someone sent this to me many years ago and I don’t know the author. Perhaps someone can let me know who it is. I have added it here because you will probably relate to at least one of these situations, if not many!  It is clear, precise and to the point. I hope this makes a difference even to just one of you.

SITUATIONS THAT PERPETUATE LOW SELF-ESTEEM

1.    Not accepting responsibility for your own growth and wellbeing

2.    Lack of clear-cut and meaningful goals to guide your decisions and reduce time - aimlessly drifting

3.    Not doing your own thinking and making your own decisions.  Requires the permission, confirmation and agreement of others for what you think, say and do.

4.    Neglecting and ignoring your own needs in order to ’serve others’, not recognizing your own growth as your number one responsibility.

5.    Being a ‘professional people pleaser’.

6.    Having to work at an occupation you heartily dislike, especially one that is not meaningful for you.

7.    Setting yourself too high a standard to reach, and therefore constantly finding fault with yourself for not maintaining it.

8.    Belittling yourself for mistakes and failures, indulging in destructive self-criticism.

9.    Depending on others for a sense of importance rather than realizing that everyone is of equal worth and  importance.

10.    Not allowing yourself the right of full expression, not developing your own talents and capabilities.

11.    Giving up before a job is finished and never getting the satisfaction of completion.

12.    Comparing yourself with others as a gage of your individual worth and importance.  Believing you must prove your worth through superior importance.

13.    Not speaking up for your own conviction, letting others ignore and belittle you.

14.    Refusing to recognize your good characteristics, and therefore building up a negative picture of yourself that are unrealistic.

15.    Not recognizing your own needs for sleep, relaxation, satisfying work, companionship, good diet - not taking care of yourself.

16.    Not letting others do things for you - not believing that they might want to.

TEN STEPS TO SELF ESTEEM

STEP ONE

In order to achieve any result you want - you have to ACKNOWLEDGE and RELEASE the past.

CYCLES OF COMPLETION:
i)    Decide to ACKNOWLEDGE and RELEASE the past
ii)    Plan………….
iii)   Start…………
iv)   Continue…..
v)    Finish……….
vi)   Complete - acknowledge that it’s over.

STEP TWO
Identify, acknowledge and affirm your strengths.

STEP THREE
Clarify your vision and your values.

STEP FOUR
Set goals and objectives.

STEP FIVE
Affirm and visualise your success.

STEP SIX
You have to take ACTION.  In order to GET, you have to ASK.

STEP SEVEN
Respond to feedback.  (You’re going to be off course more than you’re on course!)

STEP EIGHT
Perseverance.  Keep going, no matter what.

STEP NINE
Reap the rewards.  Let yourself enjoy it.

Have the attitude of gratitude.

AUTHOR: Anon

There is a saying by Henry Ford that rattles around in my head whenever I hear the term:
“Self Limiting Beliefs”.

It goes:

“If you think you can or you think you cannot, you’re right”.

My son loves to hear that one. NOT! as his generation would say - he’s 10 now but when he becomes a teenager, I’ll have to duck his right hook I reckon!

So what are these self limiting beliefs?

{mosgoogle left} A belief is a fundamental aspect of who you are, it shapes what ou do and how you think of yourself. We all have our own individual beliefs which may be at odds with the way the world round us actually sees us.
Have you ever thought:
“I can’t do that” or
“I’m not good enough to do that”

only to be told by your friends and colleagues how much they believe you can!?

External pep-talks will never address whatever is holding you ack - be it a consciously held belief or a non-conscious held belief.

The biggest single factor in holding you back from the life ou live to the life you have yet to live is your self limiting beliefs.  should know, I’ve had one or two dozen in my time (and still have plenty I need to get shot of).

Have you ever gone for a job interview and thought before you ot there:
“I am not good enough for this job, they will never take me on”

Then when you get the call back giving you the thumbs down,  little voice goes off inside your head saying:
“See, I told you so, I was right - you’re not good enough”

This self sabotage is a very common occurrence, and no matter who you re, it is only natural for you to experience such inner conversationsfrom time to time.

I can guarantee you Tony Robbins does not have 100% confidence n himself and everything he does100% of the time!

The important thing to remember about such beliefs is they are irstly borne from your own mind. They are merely your perspective of the world.

In NLP there is an expression summing it up rather nicely:
“The Map Is Not The Territory”

In other words, your beliefs are not necessarily the same as reality.

Our thoughts and beliefs colour our vision and perception of the world.

What you think determines what you do and feel.

This is why “right thinking” is so important (and I’m not talking ishy washy positive thinking). There are always challenges to be faced and for sure you will become dejected on occassions ut you need to foster the habit of “right thinking” - thinking the right things as often as possible in order to give you the omentum you need to keep on track. {mosgoogle right}

Thoughts are very real things - not some intangible “thing”.

They are electro-chemical in nature and their outcome on our behaviour is causal.

Whatever you think - whatever you believe will ultimately become your reality.

Believe you are depressed, believe you have no future and lo and behold - so it shall be.

Believe you will be challenged, believe you have the tools, the strength and the knowledge to overcome your problems and fears and you shall.

Self-limiting beliefs act as a brake on your life’s progress.

Have you been knocking at the door of success and seen it nexplicably closed in front of you? Just when you thought you nearly crossed the line, those malignant beliefs came and did heir damnest to wrench defeat fromt he jaws of victory.

If this describes you, you need to work on addressing these elf limiting beliefs and remove this inner negative programming.

What can you do to get rid of them?

You can get rid of them (and permanently keep them at bay) by onsistently, habitually fostering the right thinking within your own head.

Fighting self limiting beliefs is a war rather than a battle and when ou start out from the beginning, you need to launch a massive offensive to make quick progress.

Your thoughts are your troops and they must be deployed to ackle the biggest negative beliefs you have.

Are you  unsure as to  what is holding you back?

Perhaps you could talk to a coach or a friend and find out hat these thoughts are and where they stem from.

Moving forward, whenever you catch yourself thinking n a negative fashion, you need to mentally correct yourself and send in the troops to annihalate those negative thoughts.

Habit takes time and a conscious effort on your part.

Give yourself a head start by accepting the following:

* * You are the equal of anyone - capable of great things
* * Others are not necessarily better then you - only more practised
* * Everything is easy - when you know how

Always ask yourself the following question:
“What is the best thing I can do right now”

Ask optimal questions, expect optimal answers and practice optimal thinking.

Invest in yourself by reading/listening and watching inspirational and motivational material.

All in all, give yourself a break - you don’t need o beat yourself up about what you have done and where you are. Life will supply enough challenge for you, you need to bring your best to bear.

Author: Tom O’Brian
www.jointwinwin.com

Your head is full of everyday things you say to yourself and to those around you, that just isn’t supporting you, your family or your colleagues.

Consider this: Your brain takes what you say “literally” . Think of these words a parent might say to a child such as “don’t fall off the log” - what happens? The child falls. Say “walk along that log carefully” and they do. Don’t does not compute in the brain - the “don’t fall of the log” has an embedded command and a picture of falling off. Say “don’t slam the door” - SLAM. Same again.

Imagine all the things you say that gets you unwanted results! Understanding this alone can be life-changing! You might want to think carefully how you phrase what you say to yourself and others.

It is the same with everything you say.

You may have read about this example: Factories began displaying signs saying “Don’t slip!” and a drawing of a man slipping. It was realized that accidents were so much more frequent around these signs than anywhere else and eventually they were removed! so what we picture is powerful and translates into the physical.

So it is crucial that you understand both the power of your words, spoken or thought, and the pictures you make in your head and in the heads of others. Wouldn’t you like to choose to influence in a positive way?

Another example: (I did this!) Many years ago, I went to Geneva airport to wangle a return on a later plane without extra charges (because I was enjoying the ski trip too much and wanted to stay longer). I took on a look and body posture of “really not well”. By the time I got to the desk, having thought of how ill I must feel to be convincing - I really felt really ill. And I had taken on the mantle and talked myself into just that. I had made myself actually feel so faint and ill.

My facial expression, body posture, and words in my head - all played a part in the results i created for myself, which also influenced everyone around me too! But of course I did get a new ticket for a few more days extension to my ski holiday - albeit having to re-frame everything quickly as soon as I left that airport - to feel fine again!

So as you read, think carefully about any beliefs you think you hold, about yourself, those around you, and your world, including the simple ones

You will find it easier to discover what other limiting beliefs have been your barriers to getting what you want, even as you sleep and when you wake up. You had better have a notepad and pen ready. There is something special about the moments before almost falling asleep and as you are waking up. It’s called Alpha (a brainwave activity), a state that is linked to daydreaming, and is also known to be beneficial to solving problems, and more accessible Eureka moments ( it can also be a bugging time when you have stuff on your mind and no pen and notepad!) So always have notepad and pen by your pillow.  Who knows whether your dreams will solve your problems?

You can train your mind to function, with full awareness, in an Alpha state, without falling asleep, that can not only skyrocket your mental abilities, but can also be used to prepare yourself for exams, meetings, improving your health and more.

And finally - rather than saying to yourself “Its the way I am”. STOP and say “Delete that” and replace it with saying “I can choose the way I want to be”.

You must never leave a void, or the previous thoughts you don’t want will fill it! Choose the phrase you want instead, and look and posture your body in a way that means it!

Footnote:  You may find yourself thinking of some limiting phrases, and limiting beliefs, now, as you read this post, and some may just pop into your head as you lift your pen. You may even find it easy to come up with some just from this last 24 hours, now - and then feel good about it as you recall them.  Write them down and reverse them!

So go ahead - Now!

Only then can you begin to discover your personal power.

Change your thinking - and you can transform your life!

Author: Annette Taylorfield

All of us have days when we’re out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood. You’ve had days like that, haven’t you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk.

Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.

2. Listen to quality music.

Music can shift a listener’s state within moments. It’s effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven’t listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you’ve never listened to before.

3. Open yourself to discovering something new.

Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn’t normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.

4. Find something to laugh at.

Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.

5. Simple breathing meditation.

Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That’s all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.

6. Doodling for the fun of it.

Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.

7. Think of others less fortunate.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow. These are all pretty simple. There’s nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily–surprisingly so at time– than you imagine.

Author: John Lundholm is an RN, Hypnosis/EFT Practitioner, educator and author of ‘Dynamically Anchored Self Hypnosis’, a personal development book that enables readers to create their own best future with the world’s quickest and easiest self-hypnosis technique.

A good number of women who are attacked are chosen because of the way they presented themselves. Something about their posture told the assailant, “here is a weak woman, I can take her”. If you are scared out of your gourd, it will show.

Low self esteem or fearfulness looks like slouched shoulders; head down, arms folded in front or in pockets. Confidence looks like walking tall, shoulders back, head up, eye to eye contact, arms at the side. One statistic revealed that those trained in martial arts are less likely to ever be attacked because of the way they carry themselves. They’ve been trained to defend themselves and to not take a weak position. They have confidence.

Try this experiment. The next time you’re in a public place, mall, grocery store, the beach, no matter, walk past all the people and look them directly in the eye. You might want to smile a little or offer a “how ya doin’?” so they don’t think you’re stalking them. You’ll be amazed at the number of people who will not look at you. They’ll look down or away but not at you. Of course, in some cultures it’s not proper to look people in the eye. Be sensitive to that. But in many circles you will find it hard to find 10 people who will look at you.

By you looking at them, in some subconscious way you’re communicating that you are not afraid. You’re not sending nonverbal clues that you lack confidence. To get into the practice of always looking people in the eye, take it one step further and see what color eyes they have. It only takes a quick glance, you’re not starring down people but if you make an effort to determine eye color, you can be confident that you’re properly looking people head on in the eyes.

Get your hands out of your pockets when you walk. Uncross those arms that are locked across your chest. Not only does it look stronger and friendlier to have open arms, it’s safer. Should the need arise that you need to thwart off a would-be attacker; you’re going to need your arms to free yourself. How easy it is for one to come up from behind you and grab you if your arms are tucked neatly away? You’re just making it easy. How can you poke out eyeballs, or jab Adam’s apples or throw an elbow to the ribs if your arms are hugging yourself.

“But I AM scared,” you confess. There are two things you can do about that. One is take some self defense classes and learn how to not be afraid. The other and immediate method to change how you project yourself is to fake it until you make it. You may be scared out of your wits, but if you get the self talk going, “I am NOT afraid” and get the body language to follow it, head up, shoulders back, arms open, then you’re at least giving the allusion that you are not a weak prey.  Half of your battle is in the mind. Do something about it.

Author: Mickael Kerenterff.