Self Help Tips

Most of us use only a fraction of the enormous potential of our minds. Experts have even put a figure on it - 3% -  But then it’s not surprising when you consider we were never taught how to use our minds to full capacity.  There is little wonder that most people see their lives as an uphill struggle, experience problems in business and relationships, function unproductively, have difficulty in setting and achieving goals and often suffer with their health.

Cause- Effect
So why is it that we don’t get to be, do and have everything we want in our lives.  To discover the answer we need to understand the above equation.  Your thoughts create your emotional and physical state, and you get the results that end up in your body and your outer experience.  Every circumstance is an effect.  How you think and react at any given time determines the decisions or actions you may or may not take and the outcomes you create.  You therefore shape the results you manifest in your life.

If you’re not getting what you want you need to change your thinking.  To do that you must learn how to have conscious control of your thoughts - both the self-talk and the pictures you mentally create.  Whether you believe you create the results you get in life or not, if we ask ourselves “how have I created this?” it gives you the opportunity to work with the answer to change the situation.  You can become a creator rather than a victim of circumstance.  If we accept that we create whatever results we get, we can discover our personal power.

YOU ARE ALREADY A GENIUS
Whilst the human conscious mind seems to be limited in its capacity to hold more than 7 plus or minus 2 chunks of information in awareness, another part of your mind simultaneously organises your heartbeat, digestion and drives a car without thinking about it.  Without you being aware of it, your unconscious mind is processing millions of pieces of information without effort, it organises and stores your memories, and looks after thousands of body functions moment to moment at the same time without any conscious control.

ALL YOU NEED IS THE KEY
The mind is a magnificent organ of intelligence, but unfortunately we are not taught how to fully use it.  Yet we each have approximately 10 billion neurons (brain cells).  There are more potential simultaneous connections between neurons than there are atoms in the known universe.  This means we also have an almost infinite capacity for problem-solving and creativity.  You are already a genius - all you need is the key to tap into it.

THE KEY TO PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS?

Professional and entrepreneurial people are now realizing that success requires more than just intelligence and knowledge, it requires the added combination of improved mind management, intuition and vision unhampered by limiting beliefs and narrow perspectives.  Training and developing a relaxed and flexible mind will enable you to study any problem or project with greater depth intuitively and creatively.  You can then find superior solutions and strategies with uninhibited thinking, open-mindedness and genius-like inspiration.

According to Fiona Silberbach, a corporate trainer “This could also be the key to survival and growth for your business or company if you want to ensure your position in the marketplace.  Businesses that are really making an impact on their industries are identifying innovate approaches to generating and meeting customers needs.  To do this requires a vision of the future”.

It is about developing views of our future world which lead us to develop ideas of exciting ways of meeting future needs”.  A company could develop a real competitive edge with an empowering vision shared by it’s employees.  Even a company mission statement carefully created with employees involvement could translate into a powerful thread of loyalty, improved team work, customer relations and bottom line results!

Whatever your age, background, race or creed it is the same for everyone.  It takes a first step.  A decision.  To actively take part in being a player in life, not a spectator.  Then put zest into your day and a sparkle into your life by being curious, determined, bold and spontaneous whilst having a child-like wonder about everything.  With expanding awareness and positive expectation, you will become more aware of the many “coincidences” that fit together, creating a surprising synchronisity of events. You will naturally empower those around you if you live your life with passion and have love and respect for yourself, others and your environment.

YOU ARE THE ARCHITECT OF YOUR DESTINY.
It is possible to break out of traditional and habitual constraints if we challenge the dogma in our lives and look to change with new perceptions and new ideas. Life can be an exciting journey when we use our creativity and fullest potential to make this a better world for all of us.

Change Your Thinking - Transform Your Life

Author: Annette Taylor-Schofield (1997)

And What to Do About It!
Someone sent this to me many years ago and I don’t know the author. Perhaps someone can let me know who it is. I have added it here because you will probably relate to at least one of these situations, if not many!  It is clear, precise and to the point. I hope this makes a difference even to just one of you.

SITUATIONS THAT PERPETUATE LOW SELF-ESTEEM

1.    Not accepting responsibility for your own growth and wellbeing

2.    Lack of clear-cut and meaningful goals to guide your decisions and reduce time - aimlessly drifting

3.    Not doing your own thinking and making your own decisions.  Requires the permission, confirmation and agreement of others for what you think, say and do.

4.    Neglecting and ignoring your own needs in order to ’serve others’, not recognizing your own growth as your number one responsibility.

5.    Being a ‘professional people pleaser’.

6.    Having to work at an occupation you heartily dislike, especially one that is not meaningful for you.

7.    Setting yourself too high a standard to reach, and therefore constantly finding fault with yourself for not maintaining it.

8.    Belittling yourself for mistakes and failures, indulging in destructive self-criticism.

9.    Depending on others for a sense of importance rather than realizing that everyone is of equal worth and  importance.

10.    Not allowing yourself the right of full expression, not developing your own talents and capabilities.

11.    Giving up before a job is finished and never getting the satisfaction of completion.

12.    Comparing yourself with others as a gage of your individual worth and importance.  Believing you must prove your worth through superior importance.

13.    Not speaking up for your own conviction, letting others ignore and belittle you.

14.    Refusing to recognize your good characteristics, and therefore building up a negative picture of yourself that are unrealistic.

15.    Not recognizing your own needs for sleep, relaxation, satisfying work, companionship, good diet - not taking care of yourself.

16.    Not letting others do things for you - not believing that they might want to.

TEN STEPS TO SELF ESTEEM

STEP ONE

In order to achieve any result you want - you have to ACKNOWLEDGE and RELEASE the past.

CYCLES OF COMPLETION:
i)    Decide to ACKNOWLEDGE and RELEASE the past
ii)    Plan………….
iii)   Start…………
iv)   Continue…..
v)    Finish……….
vi)   Complete - acknowledge that it’s over.

STEP TWO
Identify, acknowledge and affirm your strengths.

STEP THREE
Clarify your vision and your values.

STEP FOUR
Set goals and objectives.

STEP FIVE
Affirm and visualise your success.

STEP SIX
You have to take ACTION.  In order to GET, you have to ASK.

STEP SEVEN
Respond to feedback.  (You’re going to be off course more than you’re on course!)

STEP EIGHT
Perseverance.  Keep going, no matter what.

STEP NINE
Reap the rewards.  Let yourself enjoy it.

Have the attitude of gratitude.

AUTHOR: Anon

There is a saying by Henry Ford that rattles around in my head whenever I hear the term:
“Self Limiting Beliefs”.

It goes:

“If you think you can or you think you cannot, you’re right”.

My son loves to hear that one. NOT! as his generation would say - he’s 10 now but when he becomes a teenager, I’ll have to duck his right hook I reckon!

So what are these self limiting beliefs?

{mosgoogle left} A belief is a fundamental aspect of who you are, it shapes what ou do and how you think of yourself. We all have our own individual beliefs which may be at odds with the way the world round us actually sees us.
Have you ever thought:
“I can’t do that” or
“I’m not good enough to do that”

only to be told by your friends and colleagues how much they believe you can!?

External pep-talks will never address whatever is holding you ack - be it a consciously held belief or a non-conscious held belief.

The biggest single factor in holding you back from the life ou live to the life you have yet to live is your self limiting beliefs.  should know, I’ve had one or two dozen in my time (and still have plenty I need to get shot of).

Have you ever gone for a job interview and thought before you ot there:
“I am not good enough for this job, they will never take me on”

Then when you get the call back giving you the thumbs down,  little voice goes off inside your head saying:
“See, I told you so, I was right - you’re not good enough”

This self sabotage is a very common occurrence, and no matter who you re, it is only natural for you to experience such inner conversationsfrom time to time.

I can guarantee you Tony Robbins does not have 100% confidence n himself and everything he does100% of the time!

The important thing to remember about such beliefs is they are irstly borne from your own mind. They are merely your perspective of the world.

In NLP there is an expression summing it up rather nicely:
“The Map Is Not The Territory”

In other words, your beliefs are not necessarily the same as reality.

Our thoughts and beliefs colour our vision and perception of the world.

What you think determines what you do and feel.

This is why “right thinking” is so important (and I’m not talking ishy washy positive thinking). There are always challenges to be faced and for sure you will become dejected on occassions ut you need to foster the habit of “right thinking” - thinking the right things as often as possible in order to give you the omentum you need to keep on track. {mosgoogle right}

Thoughts are very real things - not some intangible “thing”.

They are electro-chemical in nature and their outcome on our behaviour is causal.

Whatever you think - whatever you believe will ultimately become your reality.

Believe you are depressed, believe you have no future and lo and behold - so it shall be.

Believe you will be challenged, believe you have the tools, the strength and the knowledge to overcome your problems and fears and you shall.

Self-limiting beliefs act as a brake on your life’s progress.

Have you been knocking at the door of success and seen it nexplicably closed in front of you? Just when you thought you nearly crossed the line, those malignant beliefs came and did heir damnest to wrench defeat fromt he jaws of victory.

If this describes you, you need to work on addressing these elf limiting beliefs and remove this inner negative programming.

What can you do to get rid of them?

You can get rid of them (and permanently keep them at bay) by onsistently, habitually fostering the right thinking within your own head.

Fighting self limiting beliefs is a war rather than a battle and when ou start out from the beginning, you need to launch a massive offensive to make quick progress.

Your thoughts are your troops and they must be deployed to ackle the biggest negative beliefs you have.

Are you  unsure as to  what is holding you back?

Perhaps you could talk to a coach or a friend and find out hat these thoughts are and where they stem from.

Moving forward, whenever you catch yourself thinking n a negative fashion, you need to mentally correct yourself and send in the troops to annihalate those negative thoughts.

Habit takes time and a conscious effort on your part.

Give yourself a head start by accepting the following:

* * You are the equal of anyone - capable of great things
* * Others are not necessarily better then you - only more practised
* * Everything is easy - when you know how

Always ask yourself the following question:
“What is the best thing I can do right now”

Ask optimal questions, expect optimal answers and practice optimal thinking.

Invest in yourself by reading/listening and watching inspirational and motivational material.

All in all, give yourself a break - you don’t need o beat yourself up about what you have done and where you are. Life will supply enough challenge for you, you need to bring your best to bear.

Author: Tom O’Brian
www.jointwinwin.com

Your head is full of everyday things you say to yourself and to those around you, that just isn’t supporting you, your family or your colleagues.

Consider this: Your brain takes what you say “literally” . Think of these words a parent might say to a child such as “don’t fall off the log” - what happens? The child falls. Say “walk along that log carefully” and they do. Don’t does not compute in the brain - the “don’t fall of the log” has an embedded command and a picture of falling off. Say “don’t slam the door” - SLAM. Same again.

Imagine all the things you say that gets you unwanted results! Understanding this alone can be life-changing! You might want to think carefully how you phrase what you say to yourself and others.

It is the same with everything you say.

You may have read about this example: Factories began displaying signs saying “Don’t slip!” and a drawing of a man slipping. It was realized that accidents were so much more frequent around these signs than anywhere else and eventually they were removed! so what we picture is powerful and translates into the physical.

So it is crucial that you understand both the power of your words, spoken or thought, and the pictures you make in your head and in the heads of others. Wouldn’t you like to choose to influence in a positive way?

Another example: (I did this!) Many years ago, I went to Geneva airport to wangle a return on a later plane without extra charges (because I was enjoying the ski trip too much and wanted to stay longer). I took on a look and body posture of “really not well”. By the time I got to the desk, having thought of how ill I must feel to be convincing - I really felt really ill. And I had taken on the mantle and talked myself into just that. I had made myself actually feel so faint and ill.

My facial expression, body posture, and words in my head - all played a part in the results i created for myself, which also influenced everyone around me too! But of course I did get a new ticket for a few more days extension to my ski holiday - albeit having to re-frame everything quickly as soon as I left that airport - to feel fine again!

So as you read, think carefully about any beliefs you think you hold, about yourself, those around you, and your world, including the simple ones

You will find it easier to discover what other limiting beliefs have been your barriers to getting what you want, even as you sleep and when you wake up. You had better have a notepad and pen ready. There is something special about the moments before almost falling asleep and as you are waking up. It’s called Alpha (a brainwave activity), a state that is linked to daydreaming, and is also known to be beneficial to solving problems, and more accessible Eureka moments ( it can also be a bugging time when you have stuff on your mind and no pen and notepad!) So always have notepad and pen by your pillow.  Who knows whether your dreams will solve your problems?

You can train your mind to function, with full awareness, in an Alpha state, without falling asleep, that can not only skyrocket your mental abilities, but can also be used to prepare yourself for exams, meetings, improving your health and more.

And finally - rather than saying to yourself “Its the way I am”. STOP and say “Delete that” and replace it with saying “I can choose the way I want to be”.

You must never leave a void, or the previous thoughts you don’t want will fill it! Choose the phrase you want instead, and look and posture your body in a way that means it!

Footnote:  You may find yourself thinking of some limiting phrases, and limiting beliefs, now, as you read this post, and some may just pop into your head as you lift your pen. You may even find it easy to come up with some just from this last 24 hours, now - and then feel good about it as you recall them.  Write them down and reverse them!

So go ahead - Now!

Only then can you begin to discover your personal power.

Change your thinking - and you can transform your life!

Author: Annette Taylorfield

All of us have days when we’re out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood. You’ve had days like that, haven’t you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk.

Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.

2. Listen to quality music.

Music can shift a listener’s state within moments. It’s effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven’t listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you’ve never listened to before.

3. Open yourself to discovering something new.

Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn’t normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.

4. Find something to laugh at.

Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.

5. Simple breathing meditation.

Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That’s all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.

6. Doodling for the fun of it.

Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.

7. Think of others less fortunate.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow. These are all pretty simple. There’s nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily–surprisingly so at time– than you imagine.

Author: John Lundholm is an RN, Hypnosis/EFT Practitioner, educator and author of ‘Dynamically Anchored Self Hypnosis’, a personal development book that enables readers to create their own best future with the world’s quickest and easiest self-hypnosis technique.